Something inexplicable

When I was a student at the Russian school in my hometown, I had a teacher litaretura. Yet smart teacher. His eternal memory! He wanted all his students to know by heart Tatiana's letter to Onegin. I remember it to this day. When you go into a situation that stressed me, pisses or earning balance, I repeat this text, and that helps me. I have no explanation for its effect on my psyche, but I continue to repeat it in any such situation.
Unexplained!

TATYANA'S LETTER TO ONEGIN

Tatyana's Letter to Onegin
I write to you - what more?
What else can I say?
Now, I know in your will
I punish contempt.
But you, my fate
Even a drop of pity for storing,
You will not leave me.

First I would like to be silent;
Believe me, my shame
You would've never learned,
When I had the hope b
Though rare, though once a week
In our village to see you,
Just to hear your voice,
You say a word, and then
All thinking, thinking about one
Both day and night until the next meeting.
But, people say you're;
Off the beaten track in the village all you get bored,

But we ... we do not shine,
Though you and glad innocently.
Why should you visit us?
In the backwoods settlement By Lord forgotten
I never met you
Do not know bitter torment.
Soul inexperienced excitement
Humbled with time (who knows?)
By heart, I would have found each other,
A faithful wife
Virtuous mother.